


Console Yourselves, Control Yourselves

by gay_as_heck



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Asher being annoying, F/F, First Kiss, Idk this is trash, Laurel being conflicted, Michaela being sad and scared and adorable, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_as_heck/pseuds/gay_as_heck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some will just forget<br/>Some will close their eyes<br/>Some will turn the tide (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y-df4xiwBA">x</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Console Yourselves, Control Yourselves

Michaela, we need to leave now. Michaela. Look at me. Everything is going to be okay. Can you hear me?

* * *

 “I’ll take her home,” Laurel whispered. “I don’t think she can make it on her own.”

“You sure?” Wes asked her, glancing over at Michaela, hunched over by a tree, staring off into space.

“I’m sure,” she replied, her eyes falling on Connor, still humming ‘Jingle Bells” under his breath. “Maybe you should check on Connor. He’s not exactly holding up.”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Wes chuckled, putting a hand on Laurel’s shoulder. “See you..later, ok?”

“Sure.” Laurel pulled Wes in for a hug, whispering, “Be careful.”

Wes nodded. “You too.”

They pulled apart slowly, and Laurel squeezed Wes’ arm gently before heading over to Michaela slowly, reaching her hand out to her cautiously. “Hey, Michaela. I’m gonna take you home ok? We’ve gotta go.”

Michaela nodded slowly, grabbing Laurel’s hand as they walked out of the woods, leaving behind Wes and Connor, who was whisper-singing Jingle Bells and throwing in words like “Jail” and “Oliver".

They reached the car, parked on a shadowy side road, and Laurel reluctantly let go of Michaela to slide behind the wheel as Michaela took a seat in the passenger side, tears sliding down her face. Laurel reached over, even as her mind told her not to, and wiped away her tears with her thumb, gently caressing her cheek.

“Hey,” she whispered, “It’s gonna be ok.”

She turned away before she could be embarrassed by the intimate gesture she just bestowed on Michaela, and put the key in the ignition, driving off, heading to Michaela’s place.

The silence was so loud it was stifling, so she turned to the radio, flicked it on in time to hear some angsty pop punk song about “Not coming back, I’ve done something so terrible, I’m terrified to speak, I’m mixed up” right before she saw Michaela wince at the lyrics.

 _Well that hit a little too close to home,_ Laurel thought, speeding up, squinting at street signs and wishing street lights weren’t so goddamned dim and spread so far apart.

She pulled over when she spotted Michaela’s house, the grass neatly trimmed, the paint immaculate. As perfect as the woman who lived in it.

She walked her up to her door, just to make sure she actually made it in. It felt almost like an awkward first date, when you were walked/walked someone to the door, and had to exchange awkward pleasantries while you internally debated whether or not to kiss them, and where you _should_ kiss them.

Only Laurel was pretty sure Michaela didn’t want to kiss her. And to be honest, Laurel still wasn’t sure what she felt for Michaela. All she knew was that sometimes she wanted to smack that perpetually smug smile off her face, and other times her heart raced whenever Michaela even glanced at her.

She stood at the door with Michaela for a second as the other girl fumbled for her keys, managing to put the key in the lock and open the door, which swung open silently on its hinges (of course, Michaela’s door would never need to be oiled).

Laurel touched Michaela’s hand gently and said, “Hey, I’m gonna go now. You ok?”

“Can you..” she cleared her throat. “Can you stay with me? Please?”

At Laurel’s hesitation she added, “Crap..I’m sorry. It’s stupid. Forget it.”

“No,” she stepped forward a little. “I’ll stay. I don’t really wanna be alone right now either.”

Michaela smiled slightly and walked in, letting Laurel walk in before she closed the door quietly, locking it three times before she followed Laurel into the living room.

Laurel sat on the couch, her eyes wandering around the pristine area. Not a single thing out of place. Not a single thing from more than five years ago.

Michaela sat next to her, curling into herself, her dirty shoes tossed to the side.

“Do you think we did the right thing?” Michaela whispered, looking at Laurel with eyes so haunted she thought she’d never get the image out of her head.

“Yes,” Laurel replied firmly. “I do.”

Michaela nodded and rested her head on Laurel’s shoulder gingerly, as if expecting Laurel to push her away. Laurel kept her hands on her lap and avoided Michaela’s gaze, worried she would do something stupid like kiss her.

“I just..” Michaela mumbled. “I’m selfish. I want to save my own skin, you know. I don’t wanna go to jail for anyone.”

“That’s not being selfish,” Laurel interjected. “That’s being a self preserving human being.”

She softly stroked Michaela’s hair without thinking about it and added, “I mean, my first thought was honestly ‘I wonder if the DA will give me a good deal if I testify against them'.”

Michaela laughed so hard she snorted, setting Laurel off into a fit of giggles.

“We’re,” Michaela gasped with laughter, “We’re bad people.”

“I know,” Laurel collapsed on Michaela, still giggling. 

“Besides,” she added softly. “You’re not selfish. You protected me from Sam."

They both straightened up when they heard a knock at the door, Michaela’s face immediately betraying her panic.

“I’ll go see who it is,” Laurel whispered, leaving the couch and tiptoeing to the door. She peeked out of the peephole and quickly looked away, swearing.

“What, who is it?” Michaela stood up, wobbling slightly.

“Stay there,” Laurel waved her back, “It’s Asher.”

“What the hell is he doing here?” Michaela asked frantically. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know, probably the trophy you _stole_ from him,” Laurel snapped; Michaela glared and looked away pointedly, crossing her arms.

“Sorry,” Laurel walked towards her. “I’m just worried. Let’s just wait till he leaves. I don’t think he’ll stay here long.”

Michaela nodded and sat back on the couch, leaning on Laurel when she came back.

They waited as Asher called through the door, calling out Michaela’s name and cursing at her, threatening her with a lawsuit. Eventually his voice faded away, and they heard tires screech away.

“Hey,” Laurel turned to Michaela, “I think he’s gone-"

Michaela’s lips were on hers, suddenly, and Laurel’s eyes widened as she processed it. 

_Michaela’s…kissing me._

She pulled away slowly, holding Michaela’s gaze. 

“Michaela..what about Aiden?”

She laughed bitterly. “Do you really think I’m gonna sign a prenup? I mean, after all we’ve been through, he hands me a prenup. Fuck him.”

She leaned in, then, as an after thought, added, “What about you and..what’s his name?”

Laurel sighed. “I..I slept with Frank. So yeah. I don’t think we have to worry about Todd anymore.”

“Well aren’t we a couple of fuck ups,” Michaela laughed, “I can’t believe we both-“

Laurel silenced her by leaning in and kissing her, bringing her hands up to Michaela’s neck as Michaela rested her hands in Laurel’s hair. Laurel swiped Michaela’s lower lip with her tongue, and Michaela opened her mouth as the kiss suddenly changed in level of intensity.

Laurel broke the kiss. “What are we even doing?”

Michaela shrugged. “Does it feel right to you?”

She paused. Contrary to everything that told her that kissing Michaela was wrong, it felt… _right._ Like the entire universe had converged to make this simple kiss happen.

“Yeah,” she said softly, “It does.”

Michaela crushed their lips together, resting her hands on Laurel’s waist, and she responded enthusiastically, her hands gripping Michaela’s hips. They slowly moved their mouths together, unhurriedly exploring each other’s mouths as Michaela moved to straddle Laurel; continuing to gently kiss her. She pulled her lips away and kissed her way down her jawline, mouthing the soft skin of her throat with her lips and the barest touch of her teeth as Laurel sucked in her breath, not daring to make a sound as Michaela shrugged her jacket off and did Laurel the favor of taking hers off as well.

“You know,” Laurel whispered as Michaela made her way back up Laurel’s throat. “I don’t put out without a candlelit dinner and at least 25 roses lining the hallway to the bedroom.”

Michaela chucked, making Laurel shiver as her breath hit skin she’d lavished attention on.

“Seriously,” Laurel pulled the other girl’s face up to meet her. “Get some rest. We’re gonna need it.

She stood and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

She walked to the door slowly, praying Michaela would ask her to stay.

Apparently god was looking out for her, because she heard Michaela quietly say, “You could spend the night..Or, whatever.”

Laurel turned around and smiled. “I’d like that.”

Michaela led her to her bedroom swiftly, holding onto Laurel’s fingers lightly as she opened the door and led her to her bedroom, turning on a lamp and fluffing her pillow, all without letting go of her hand. Laurel kicked her shoes off and toed them to a corner of the room before she gingerly kneeled on the bed, keeping a careful grip on the other girl’s hand.

They lay down under the covers, about a foot apart, glancing at each other almost shyly before Michaela used her free hand to stroke Laurel’s face and whispered, “I’ve wanted to kiss you stupid ever since Keating picked you.” She kissed Laurel’s nose gently. “I was just too afraid to say anything.”

“There’s also the fact that you were _engaged_ ,” Laurel rolled her eyes exasperatedly. 

“That, too,” Michaela replied agreeably, scooting in closer as she intertwined her fingers with Laurel’s.

She leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Michaela’s mouth. “Well from now on, you have full permission to kiss me stupid whenever you want, and whenever you don’t.”

Michaela huffed out a laugh and kissed Laurel’s cheek. “G’night Laurel. Sleep tight, hope the bedbugs don’t bite, blah blah blah.”

“How romantic,” Laurel teased, closing her eyes.

She fell asleep to the other girl’s deep breathing, one last memory flitting across her mind.

_“I was protecting Laurel!”_

_“She was!”_  


End file.
